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psilocybinaut · 7 months ago

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Kid i used to hang out with died today. Nobody told me what, but i have a feeling it was drugs.

#we only really hung out in the group between 12-14 #and we werent very close #but like he worked at my old job #and i had seen him at partys and get togethers #we had smoked and asked about older friends #i know he didnt have an easy home life on a couple different fronts #and a large part of me feels bad about it #another part of me felt so isolated from that group of friends once we were sophmores #like they were too cool for me #which really hurt my feelings for a long time #still whenever Joey saw me he would normally at least be cordial #and i do feel sad learning that the world was so hard for him #that he constantly needed to numb the pain to such extremes #theres a large part of me that empathizes with that #sorry i couldnt be a better friend Joey #i hope its peaceful now

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inkskinned · 2 months ago

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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

#spilled ink #writeblr #i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience #that i think is specific to the internet generation #where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy #sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw #like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex #bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is #something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it

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gascreates · 3 months ago

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a new star

#i been thinkin about the asteroid again #i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal #like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye #like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different #how long did it take the asteroid to reach us #at what point was the impact inevitable #like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry #yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth #how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet #can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is #can i please talk about that layer of pain #can i mourn when i see it #or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks #ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so #but it's too late #yall get to suffer with me #dinosaurs

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ryssbelle · 8 months ago

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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

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cozylittleartblog · 4 months ago

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Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

#columbo #knight rider #art #michael knight #kitt #comic #highlight reel #crossover #telebeast #there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public #this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy #if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo #this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them #niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet #not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao #stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio #cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps #this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march #is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool #ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN #COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page #i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier #action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write #more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3 #there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty #i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes #the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔

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umblrspectrum · 8 months ago

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hi heres art so you pay attention to me now go read the tags

#ive been rewatching episode 7 like its the only thing on youtube and made note of many things #first off. the solver can only have one host. nori mentions skyn wants to kill off all the other solver hosts (with the dds) and disregards #the idea of both uzi and doll being its current host when they get chased #plus the main solver possessions only occur when skyn is out of the picture (the fightt in ep 7 is only after n decapitates “tessa”)#solver uzi is possible too but i dont count her cause she doesn't have the yellow #personal theory is that its more an instinctual response to overheating or something and not full on possession #second off nori calls the solver cyn. how does she know that name #cyn was on earth and only showed up to copper 9 recently and i presume nori's been here her whole life #it probably wasn't the other dds cause none of them made it down and they're all more savage beasts #since cyn specifies n's team retained their personalities and that makes me think the other teams didnt #also also we should've immediately questioned tessa arriving in the same type of pod as the mds when they were revealed to not be sent by j #im running out of characters also the people who dont like when i use tags like this can bite me #murder drones #murder drones nori #artori? that sounds cool #ill probably just stick with nori though #i have so many solver heart refs now #art #episode 7 #murder drones episode 7 #murder drones episode 7 spoilers #using the same black for shadows as my lineart doesn't work when i have to draw thin things over it #murder drones spoilers

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bungobble-my-balls · 3 months ago

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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels #I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings #also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because #-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be #I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me #it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life #in fact that actually fits with Jouno too #now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype #hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that #bsd analysis #Akutagawa #atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #atsushi nakajima #sskk #shin soukoku #<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungobble my post

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proxycrit · 21 hours ago

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I interrupt my zelda posting with caitvi because Arcane changed my brain chemistry

(ight, now i go back on hiatus! If you want to see my sketchbook which I WILL be posting until the day I wither, check out patreon! Now excuse me as i crawl back into my warm little den)

((Im also currently significantly more active on my instagram posting commission work, if you wanna see it :0))

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hellmandraws · 3 months ago

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I accidentally got really into X-Men lately, and I'm not immune to... them. 🥺❤️

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castiels-undercoat · 3 months ago

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Thinking abt Jack bringing Cas back but making him fully powered +some so Cas is just at the bunker fully mojoed out, and Dean really really forgot how hot Cas being scary and all powerful was.

#do u guys remember when Cas's powers were actually cool?#yeah me too #lol those were the days #he's just watching lights flicker like ♡○♡#very cute to me #destiel #dean winchester #supernatural #castiel #spn #deancas #balls deep destiel #misha collins #jensen ackles #jack kline

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kayleerowena · 5 months ago

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new random haunted house generator just dropped!

tip jar - patreon - rss feed

#kaylee.art #interactive fiction #haunted houses #haunted house #ghosts #horror art #horror #indie web #i've been wanting to do something like this for a while so i put this together in the last week or so!#tried really hard to figure out the js to code it from scratch but alas. there were simply too many variables i needed randomized #so it's built with perchance.org instead. still pretty cool i think!#let me know what you think / if you get a house you think is cool / if you run into any bugs!

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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Danse Macabre

[Commission]

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #marcille donato #winged lion #better drawn mdzs #<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming #Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!

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welcometogrouchland · 6 months ago

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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)

#dc comics #dc #batfamily #batman #damian wayne #stephanie brown #tim drake #dick grayson #cassandra cain #duke thomas #anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig #i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did #I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon #mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j #anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j #me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc #-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre #god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it #i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you #mine

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musubiki · 3 months ago

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doodling mochi outfit concepts again

#the cat witchs guild #the misc adventures of mochi and lime #tcwg #tmaomal #art #mochi #ocs #original #beta #outfits #cat bow....but better #actually positioned in way that makes it look like a cat bow #smad genshin thought of the cat bow too but they did it better by putting it in the back #anyway. i wanted to try doing that for mochi #part of me wants her to have a more stylized hat because so many witches in my head have cool unique hats #and hers is basic in most art i draw..#im returning again to (what would i do for her if she was not the mc)#oh yeah and thinking about putting a ``tail`` on her skirt #god she looks so cat-like now heuehueueeu #does that tail get in the way during fights??? nah it just whips around looking cool #i want so bad for mochi to grow into her own witch and find her style #im always so wishy washy bc her spiky hat is so og but a more stylized hat is what she would have...if she were not my mc

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autismsupersoldier · 7 months ago

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a non-exhaustive list of my dunmeshi cast headcanons, as well as a fun exercise in censoring genitals in creative ways. below the cut you can see a list of notes and explanations. hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed watching the anime!

important to preface: